The Story From A Broken Mind
Seen my therapist today. I just don’t feel like I can talk to her. Then again I can’t talk to anyone. I can’t even truly talk here because of the continuing amount of people find this.
Off track so back on lol I want to talk to her about how I feel. What i want to do. I got the idea she thought this was a mood but then again she doesn’t know the whole story. She doesn’t know about my failed attempt at a relationship. Or the fact that it failed because she felt i was to broken. Well she said it was because i lied or omitted or i honestly dont know her thoughts. I do know that when she found my blog it was done. And weather she knows it or not she judge me to broken to date.
I knew something was up but it still hit me like a brick wall to the face. I was for the last six months living like i was normal.
The last six months where to good to be true but i could not see past the fake confidence. The i am not broken because i am working 80 hours a week. I bought a brand new car. I have employees under me. And it was all a fog of delusion. Because i was out working my brokenness. Now i am fucked. Now i have had mirror forced in front of me.
I hate mirrors either real or especially as a reflection from someone. The reflection on someone else face or auctions are worse then looking in my own eyes.
When they have decided that your a project to be helped is like saying hello broken how can avoid really knowing you as a person.
I hate seeing how broken i am.
I hate seeing the voices outside of my head.
I hate the hate.
I hate the emptiness of now one wanting to be with someone is so broken.
I just hate myself.
“Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.” – Philip K. Dick
“The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don’t always spoil the good things and make them unimportant.” — Doctor Who
“The only valid censorship of ideas is the right of people not to listen.” – Tom Smothers
“Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.” ― George Orwell
“If you don’t work on important problems, it’s not likely that you’ll do important work”. – Richard Hamming
“Being in a minority, even in a minority of one, did not make you mad. There was truth and there was untruth, and if you clung to the truth even against the whole world, you were not mad.” – Orwell
“When you want to fool the world, tell the truth.” Otto von Bismarck