Mike's Struggle

The Story From A Broken Mind

Hate the reflection in the mirror (2/25/15)

Seen my therapist today. I just don’t feel like I can talk to her. Then again I can’t talk to anyone. I can’t even truly talk here because of the continuing amout of people find this.

Off track so back on lol I want to talk to her about how I feel. What i want to do. I got the idea she thought this was a mood but then again she doesn’t know the whole story.  She doesn’t know about my failed attempt at a relationship.  Or the fact that it failed because she felt i was to broken. Well she said it was because i lied or omitted or i honestly dont know her thoughts. I do know that when she found my blog it was done. And weather she knows it or not she judge me to broken to date.

I knew something was up but it still hit me like a brick wall to the face. I was for the last six months living like i was normal.

The last six months where to good to be true but i could not see past the fake confidence. The i am not broken because i am working 80 hours a week. I bought a brand new car. I have employees under me. And it was all a fog of delusion. Because i was out working my brokenness.  Now i am fucked. Now i have had mirror forced in front of me.

I hate mirrors either real or especially as a reflection from someone. The reflection on someone else face or auctions are worse then looking in my own eyes.

When they have decided that your a project to be helped is like saying hello broken how can avoid really knowing you as a person.

I hate seeing how broken i am.
I hate seeing the voices outside of my head.
I hate the hate.
I hate the emptiness of now one wanting to be with someone is so broken.
I just hate myself.

Posted By: Mike G

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This entry was posted on February 25, 2015 by in Journal and tagged , , , , , , , , .
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