Mike's Struggle

The Story From A Broken Mind

Posible trigger ******* 12/1/13 Journal

7:12p
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The best thing I did today was this tine tree assoment that will be year round in my house

==========
310

Tryes to think positive, tryied to cal my daughter. Said and I quetoe she didn’t want to talkto me. At 7 years old and knowing me a year she all ready knows. But atleats I got to say I love her.

^^^^^^^^^

3pm

Blew off stacy for her own good after she came up with reasons not to meet. I don’t know why but she tottaly lie to me about why. I hate knowing these things. I need to break that off. I don’t even know what ot is other then trouble her.

So since I can talk, and I can brun, and realy thinking about cutting, and am making am plan, I decided to stop at DQ and eat. Should I no.

image

image

⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙

2:36pm
I am starting to want tko die, my house of cards are falling. My life is ending. I am now again going to lose three or more days of work. The hardest part is I don’t have a sure fire way at my house.

I need to go shopping!!!

===============
1:30p
I think I have a concussion and whiplash. They are giving me more meds and hopimg it works.
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Sslo see hoe fat I am
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No wounder no one loves me.

1:11pm

I love the nurses that act like mental illness is contagious. Like if they touch me they will smoe how get it. Males me feel so much better seening this.
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My room where I wait. Is seems clean but we all know. Lol

/////////////
1pm
At the doctors, thoughts will not stop.
Burns hurting
Life unknown
But hated

My new burns
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Taken at med express

##########
I am trying to focus but the meds make that hard in the am. It is like my thoughts are scared all over the place. I can get stuff done but it is harder to do anything and my will to do it is being taken away.

I seem to have more thoughts of why people are here too.

I put this in one of my med journal posts and it might not be good.

Have not done a 1-5 thing in forever so lets see if i can do one know.  I am adding some.

Symptoms (1 -5 one being lowest): Voices, (4.0) | Bad thoughts, (5.0)| Feeling/Seeing bugs, (2.0) | Shadow People, (3.0) | Normal People that aren’t real, (???) | Other Visual Hallucinations, (5.0) | Knocking on walls or doors (3.0) |Cat Fred, (0) None:( Lisa (5.0)

Feeling (1-5 One being none): Down, Depressed, Or hopeless (5.0) | Little Interest or pleasure in doing things (4.0)| Trouble failing asleep or sleeping to much (1.5) | Trouble concentrating on things (4.5) | Poor appetite or wanting to/overeating or (5.0) | Thoughts you would be better off dead (10.0)| Thought of your a screw up or failure (5.0)| Thought of your a screw up or failure as a father (5.0)| Thought of your a screw up or failure at your jobs  (5.0)| Thought that people just wat to use you and throw you away like trash (5.0)

Nightmares (1-5 One being not bad): (1.5)

Easiness to leave the house (1-5 One being easy 5 being couldn’t) (2.5)

Am I slipping

Am I getting better

Am I just fucked up.

Is this any of this even real?

And I am listing to my burning song

Also why am I so scared of Stacy, why do I feel the uncommon need to push her away when she makes me face things. And apparently from someone else view point happy.  I disagree with the last statement.

An updated burn picture

image

 
Posted By: Mike G
Contact Email: MikesAnubis@gmail.com
About me & this Site

 My Mental Issues

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This entry was posted on December 1, 2013 by in Journal and tagged , , , , , , .
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