Mike's Struggle

The Story From A Broken Mind

I failed, I burn 11/16/13 (Journal)

To was an not so good day. I am suck in my own head with the only contact from anyone outside of my head was my therapist. God am I sad. Come Monday it will be four days without contact from anyone that is not paid to be around me. The people have an good morening message that states that very same thing to me. It goes something like
 
“look how woke up alone and unloved this morning. And how fat and ugly you look today, made you can do something about it. But you can’t case your a loser.”
 
Some times they will add things that are currently happening in the mix.
 
And the movie sucks today. Why must I relive these things. what is wrong with letting memories die.
————
 
9:00p
I am on that point of burning
I am about to fail.
I see it coming and there is nothing I can do. I should be able to step to the side like what one dose when an approaching trail is coming.
I am tryng to think my way out of this but nothing is happening.
 
 
———-
 
9:33pm
Now high
not sleepy
brain on fast
movie in my head on repeat
wish I could go numb
 
———–
 10:25p
 
The song starts
the people are turned down
the movie is louder
the louder is painful
the pain is engulfing
 
———
Why is my numb broken, where did it go?
 
—————
1068pm
People suck, god hate me, and vokda is great.
 
————————————-
 
 
 
———–
11<577pm
 
I like hurtung people
I was learned early in life that hurting is better then getting hurt.
I learned this in the most fucked up way.
Something you don;t talk about
something as so dark and evil
those things make you dark and evil
why would god put such a man in my early like.
wht would i become like him.
 
 
Sorry haddd to
 
————–
12:40am
no sleep. Just an movie playing in my head. 
 
Kills me as I listen
this is my song to someone I was left by this year (2013)
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This entry was posted on November 16, 2013 by in Journal and tagged , , , , , , .
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