Mike's Struggle

The Story From A Broken Mind

11/14/2013 (journal)

My day sucked. I am currently having an episode, which started yesterday. I am feeling bugs crawl all over me. I was forced to call my therapist, Doctor, and case Manager and tell them this. Then I had to call my Bosses and take tine off.

I an losing pay which sucks

I have spent a lot of time with my Case Manger. not a bad thing per say. But I am noticing and she mentioned that she feels more comfortable and is opening up. Which also means I am bonding with her. I do have a few curiosities about her that will stay nameless, and got to say I like her more now then shy.   Yes she reminds me of someone…. But it will not end up like with my last case manager, but I still will get hurt. And will not make the same promise in the end.

So the worse part. Asking for help, which is a cry of the weak. Now everyone one knows. And facing people that can take my life away aka putting me in the hospital. Sharing things I don’t want real people in my life to know about. Saying things out load that I want only to stay in my head. God I told my case manger so much shit in the last two days she to think either I am a liar or I am bat shit crazy. Suckie thing is I am just that bat shit crazy. And then I told the doctor about the same shit.Fuck!!! I hate this open shit, I think my brain has reached its download capability and that is why it is making talk about crap. It just can’t hold any more. Telling normal people that you see shit or feel shit or fear shit that is not real sucks. It is all ways that same look you get.

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This entry was posted on November 14, 2013 by in Journal.
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