The Story From A Broken Mind
I cannot let go of the feeling that if was my fault. I know logistically that as a child we have no control or choice over the abuse we suffer. And I keep telling myself that it was not my fault. NOT MY FAULT. But this inner dough still lays heavy on me like a lead blanket.
So many times, so many ways.
To me, from me, and used by me.
The only constant was me.
Did I know better?
Did I ask for it somehow?
The lead blanket of dough makes it hard to think and even harder to breath.
I don’t know if I can do this “Stage One Memories of your childhood, acknowledge what has happened”. Because after anger comes guilt, and then the feeling that it was all my fault. And I am not sure it wasn’t.
~ Mike G