The Story From A Broken Mind
You know my memories of things are so tainted, I think or process thing is the best positive way and it has become clear to me that the way I remember things have to be corrupted by this set of problems in my head.
I think it makes me remember people in a better light then what they really where, example is say person A.
Person A is remembered as a caring friend, someone I did stuff for and did my best to help even though my best can not be good. And then lose contact with, now my mind being as delusional as it is then erase the parts that may have been bad, ie they used me or harmed me. So that my memory of that person seems so positive. So warm, like they where a good friend, looking out for me. And that they where just to busy to return text messages or Christmas / birthday cards when in reality they probably just deleted / tossed in trash them.
Why am I so blind to these things and even after knowing this I will most likely repeat this behavior over and over again till the day I die. Which makes me question my abilities to trust my self in the judgement in anything people related Does this problem just exist in my memories people or am I just that blind when it comes to people in my life. Its not like I am good at dealing with people when I am trying to be real.
My life would be easier if I went back to the days when everything and everyone was just one part of con. I am better with people when I am working them. And I guess it is right the way the sayings go.