Mike's Struggle

The Story From A Broken Mind

April 7th 2010

****Posted from another journal I wrote****

I think people how hurt animals should be hurt in the exact same way. If you beat an puppie then you should be beating. If you fight dogs to the death then you must fight to the death and then be killed, ect ect. It would stop all these stupid A** people from being them self’s (stupid). And I would volunteer to be the one to carry out these things. People make me sick e hurt what cares for us, we only think of our own needs and forget about other people and other creatures on the planet. Dogs and yes even cats should have the same rights as people because we have bread them to be helpless, to need use. and when someone hurts one its like hurting a helpless child.

 

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I have been in a lot of groups about cutting/SI and come to realize, even i do it, that we think of stopping in the wrong way. I thought, and am still trying to break myself of this that, I had to stop cold turkey and just throw everything away. But you can’t do that, because it wont work for most people.

Why because you cant stop have emotions, everyone dose. Even when your numb that is an emotion to block out all other emotions.

So instead of trying to just stop try to transfer that auction (cutting/si) into something else. Doesn’t matter what as long as it is better then cutting, and you know not heroin. I have been trying to journal which seem to kinda help get things out of me that I normally would not. I have also tried other thing that didn’t work for me and am always open to new ideas. And the key is that I have been trying different things while trying not to cut as often. I am still working on finding that one or combination of things that will do for me what my si dose. And to also get over the habit that I have formed in the 18years of cutting.

See for me before when i would try to stop cutting/SI it would just build up in till I cut again and then i would get down on my self for doing it, which would lead to me cutting again and you see the pattern its like a circle it never stopped. But light at the end of the tunnel is that I have gotten it down to almost not cutting and work on everything every day and maybe one day I will no longer need to cut.

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This entry was posted on April 7, 2010 by in Journal.
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